after spending a bit of time strolling through annapolis mall today and eating a fine fine dinner at red robin with tashawn and renee, the three of us crazy kids drove over to bowie town center and caught the 8 pm showing of underworld: evolution.

and of course, here i am with my mini-review of it.

underworld: evolution is to underworld is what x2: x-men united was to x-men. where the first one focused on a whole bunch of boring shit, like vampire politics and how vampires and werewolves came to be (with some action interspersed between all of that), the second film is all about kicking ass, taking names, and making things bleed as much as possible. oh, and making shit explode too...not just buildings, but heads as well.

the movie picks up where the last one left off, with the hottest woman in skintight leather and her boo boo on the run from the crazy vampire politicians. the second oldest vampire of them all, marcus, awakes from his billion year old slumber looking like a bat out of hell (literally), and goes on the warpath, killing pretty much everything in his wake in brutally gory fashion. the first underworld, for being a vampire movie, wasn't really all that bloody...but this movie takes it to an entirely new level. his goal in life is to reunite with his equally fucked up brother, william, who just so happens to be the very first and therefore most powerful werewolf! *gasp!* of coure, that can't happen because everyone who is not them would get fucked up, so the hottest woman in skintight leather and her boo boo must go on a journey to stop marcus from finding and releasing his brother while at the same time discovering her past and why her family was killed centuries ago. riveting!

what makes this movie ten billion times better than the original is that someone realized that nobody goes to an action movie to here about the political background of a bunch of blood sucking and face eating freaks. heeeeeell no. we wanna see shit blowed up and people shot up and/or dismembered, and that's just what you get here. there's still some talking, but most of the talking is done with bullets or swords this time around...and we all know those are better negotiating tools anyway. peoples jaws get ripped off, getting impaled on thing is pretty commonplace, heads explode, there's maulings up the wazoo...and all of it is deliciously good.

and, unlike the first time, underworld: evolution includes a staple of all vampire movies: gratuitous sex!!! and titties!!! because vampires know how to lay the pipe better than regular people, obviously.

overall i'd give underworld: evolution a 3 1/2 out of 5. it's good...but not sexcellent. it won't stick with you or challenge you like terminator 2: judgement day (my favorite movie of all time, by the way) or the matrix, but you'll enjoy it while it lasts.

daily download: the chemical brothers - galvanize, a tribe called quest - electric relaxation suite, nirvana - you know you're right